Lessons Learned

So I had several lovely visitors this week, including a nice two hour visit last night with a young man with an affinity for all things female and feminine. He requested that I dress in a very particular sexy fashion, with lingerie, etc. He was looking for a classic Mrs. Robinshon experience (for those of you reading this that haven't seen THE GRADUATE, shame on you! OK...think "Stiffler's Mom": she's another role model of Mine.) I dressed to the nines for him in My black patent Mary Janes (by Nine West, My preferred designer shoe brand),  My black & white polka dot dress and black lingerie and stockings. In short, I wore this...

In the last email before his arrival, I asked him to pick up something nice for massage, as I thought it would be delightful to let him enjoy massaging My round ripe curves! He said he had an idea of something that would really feel nice on My skin and was organic, edible & natural; good for what ails us! I thought it sounded like a terrific way to spend a Thursday night, and told him so.

When he arrived, he'd brought a nice bottle of merlot for himself, and we headed upstairs to get acquainted. During our conversation, he showed me this miracle cure-all; a jar of organic coconut oil. Now, it seems like everywhere I go lately, someone is touting the virtues of coconut oil: eating it, washing their hair and face with it, etc. So, I thought, might feel really great on My skin! What could it hurt, right?  After all, I do have a chronic skin issue.

My chronic skin issue is due to a medication I have to take.  Apparently, the rest of you can't handle Me  when I don't...LOL So stopping it is not an option. It is a NON CONTAGIOUS fungal skin infection called tinea versicolor that discolours My skin in sort of a cheetah spot pattern...but when the spots get inflamed and red they get itchy, and if the organism in My system gets out of control, only an oral antifungal will knock it down. It's like a COMPLETELY NONCONTAGIOUS yeast infection in My epidermis! So as it turns out, drenching Me from head to toe in coconut oil will make My skin feel fantastic, but if I do not shower it off ALMOST immediately, I become ONE GIANT ITCHY RED BLOB! It turns out, leaving the oil to soak into My skin overnight to let it soften was a really BAD idea! Now, if anyone would like to drop by tonight with an antihistamine.....